Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Babysitting the Hellhound

I'm not getting a lot of writing done right now.

Not because I don't have plenty of ideas or a book I'm in the middle of or anything like that.

No, I'm not getting a lot of writing done because I'm not getting a lot of sleep. Because we're babysitting a Hellhound...perhaps the Hellhound.

My inlaws needed to drop Hellie off. No problem. But they spent the night and, since they're older and unfamiliar with our house, we kept Hellie in the room with us so neither one of them would trip over him in the night.

This distressed Hellie. He spent all of that night whining because he couldn't be with them. I spent all night quietly telling him to shup up, to come back by the bed, to lie down, and to die. He did none of them. I got no sleep and my brain refused to function the next day.

Fine. One night, right? Hellie would be normal once the inlaws were off and away. I'd take a nap somewhere and all would be well.


Hellie's into pining, apparently. In between picking on our dogs and terrorizing our cats, he wanders the house -- whining. Napping is out. Phone calls are out. Teeth grinding is in. Dog walks are very in -- Hellie likes to take a walk as often as possible. It's the only time he's not whining. So I'm taking him every hour, because that's about the point where I hit the whining limit and I'm ready to kill him and every other living thing in the house.

However, I'm not advanced enough to be able to write when I have nothing but fuzz in my brain. Nor when my eyes can rarely and barely open and, when they do, all is fuzzy. Neither when I'm walking a pack of dogs. I guess I'm just not that good.

I'll be in shape, of course, so there's a positive. Although, I'm not writing a fitness book, so it's no help there. But I've heard that being fit helps an author write a better book.

If this is the key, my next one's going to be stellar -- it's going to be about how a man is driven slowly insane by a hound from Hell. I'm sure it'll be a huge success.

J.G. Chase

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